{"id":1364,"date":"2011-05-28T00:24:33","date_gmt":"2011-05-28T06:24:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/murileemartin.com\/wordpress\/?p=1364"},"modified":"2011-07-05T21:43:11","modified_gmt":"2011-07-06T03:43:11","slug":"welcome-to-south-carolina-shotgun-wedding-penalty","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/murileemartin.com\/wordpress\/?p=1364","title":{"rendered":"Welcome To South Carolina: Shotgun Wedding Penalty!"},"content":{"rendered":"

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\nThe LeMons Supreme Court is nothing if not culturally sensitive, so we like to honor regional traditions when we come to town. For the first state to secede from the Union in 1860, we decided to educate miscreant drivers with a penalty inspired by Southern nuptial customs: the Shotgun Wedding Penalty! 
 
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\nNow before you sub-Mason-Dixon types get all upset about Yankee carpetbaggers presuming to understand your sacred rituals, be aware that this penalty was conceived and executed by LeMons HQ staffer (and creator of the Royal Wedding Penalty<\/a>) Kim, who was born and raised in Georgia. Here we see her taking an invigorating sip of white lightning from the traditional mason jar. 
 
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\nAs we all know, the bride in a shotgun wedding must be visibly pregnant, so Kim provided a bicycle helmet to be strapped around the midsection. The wedding dress goes on after that. 
 
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\nWhat’s a wedding without a bridesmaid? 
 
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\nThe glowing bride, nattily attired groom, and tears-of-joy-soaked bridesmaid head out to the scene of the joyous union (a Dodge Hemi pickup truck parked in the Penalty Box). 
 
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\nDaddy waits with his de-sleeved flannel shirt and shotgun. 
 
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\nThe wedding party members wave rebel flags as they await the arrival of Preacher Jay. We had Hayseed Dixie’s version of “Feel Like Makin’ Love” playing as accompaniment. 
 
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