I’m sure I’m not the first person to think of this one, but when you have both a big pumpkin harvest and a Wüsthof stiff boner, the Check Engine Light Pumpkin just seems necessary. 
 

So, if you live in California and you have a 1998 or newer diesel Volkswagen, I know two things about you: One, your Check Engine light is on, and two: you’re screwed.