For the American Irony 24 Hours of LeMons last weekend, Team Resignation finally paid heed to my requests that they convert the Richard Nixon likeness on the roof of their Ford Escort into an animatronic Nixon Robot (as depicted in my novel). The mechanism was a bit crude, but it gave their Nixon a certain […]

I’ve been writing about the 24 Hours of LeMons for more than four years now, for more publications than I can recall right now. The latest victim: Car and Driver, which is now inexplicably sponsoring the 24 Hours of LeMons. So, when you’re done reading my tirades on TTAC, Motor Authority, Autoweek and elsewhere, head […]

It was quite a race, and its photographic Über Gallery has more than 2000 photographs for your enjoyment.

We of LeMons HQ have started (or, rather, resumed the tradition of) issuing a region-specific trophy for each race, which means in practice that we bring a trophy with a blank nameplate and realize that we haven’t thought of what we’re going to call it until about 19 minutes before the checkered flag on Sunday. […]

You’ve seen the Showroom-Schlock Shootout Über Gallery and the official results, but those things don’t always tell the entire story. As Official Historian of the 24 Hours of LeMons, I’m here to fill on the blanks on what happened at the Autobahn Country Club Joliet last weekend.  

When it’s hot and muggy and the race goes on all through the night, some teams pack up and go home when something big breaks on their car. Others, however, keep thrashing; such teams become potential Heroic Fix winners (or, if the repair doesn’t work, I Got Screwed winners). We’ve got some of each type […]

I couldn’t make it to the Arse Sweat last weekend, due to some sort of terrible plague I picked up at the Boston Tow Party race, making this the first time I’ve ever missed a LeMons race at arse-freezing/arse-sweating Thunderhill Raceway. Assistant Perp Nick Pon was on the job, however, and he’s been kind enough […]

The second-annual B.F.E. GP, which takes place somewhere in the wasteland between Denver and Kansas, starts today. It’ll be a day of BS Inspections in the blazing sun, driving rain, and/or tennis-ball-sized hail. Best of all, no airports for me!

I approve of the all-steel body kit, and just about everything else, on the Van Buren Boys G-Body Cutlass, but I’ve had some questions about them boys’ so-called 500-buck budget in the past. Unless they’ve found a magical 1/4-price junkyard in their hometown, something about the numbers ain’t quite addin’ up. With my skepticism in […]

In the same way that Buttonwillow is really Los Angeles and Stafford is really Providence, Summit Point, West Virginia, is really Washington DC!

To win Ununhexium Legend of LeMons status, some teams showed incredible driving skills, others raced Fiat 128s or Cadillac Coupe Devilles, and still others ran their engines on one cylinder. Then there’s Sensory Assault, an Index of Effluency-winning bunch of Texans who rig a new assemblage of Hoopty Grade™ machinery on their RX-7 for each […]

Nearly 1,000 photos from the hot-n-humid, engine-nukin’ action at MSR last weekend.

I always look forward to races at MSR Houston, and the Garrapatas Peligrosas 24 Hours of LeMons should be another fun one. Hot, humid weather means that we’ll have crankshafts bouncing off the asphalt and brakes trailing comet tails of flame, which means plenty of Heroic Fix opportunities for the racers. See y’all there!

When you bring a Super Beetle to a 24 Hours of LeMons race, you really don’t need a good theme; in such a case, the car itself is theme enough. That didn’t stop Cold Source Racing at the ‘Shine Country Classic last weekend.  

This weekend, the 50th race in the 24 Hours of LeMons’ illustrious history will take place. I’ve been present at 41 of those races, which qualifies me for the coveted “41-Time Loser” patch. The second-ever Goin’ For Broken LeMons features an Opel Ascona, a twin-engined Corolla/MR2, and (allegedly) Jaguar XKE. We’ll believe the last one […]