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Archive for the ‘24 Hours of LeMons Chicago’ category

“Well, I’m Not a Crook!”

October 19th, 2012

For the American Irony 24 Hours of LeMons last weekend, Team Resignation finally paid heed to my requests that they convert the Richard Nixon likeness on the roof of their Ford Escort into an animatronic Nixon Robot (as depicted in my novel). The mechanism was a bit crude, but it gave their Nixon a certain [...]

You’ve seen the Showroom-Schlock Shootout Über Gallery and the official results, but those things don’t always tell the entire story. As Official Historian of the 24 Hours of LeMons, I’m here to fill on the blanks on what happened at the Autobahn Country Club Joliet last weekend.  

As LeMons fans already know, the battle for the ‘2010 season points championship has come down to Calfornia’s Eyesore Racing and Texas’ Red Rocket Ratnest Revival. On Saturday, the Ratnests’ SHO suffered a major mechanical setback and appeared to have no chance at the top-10 finish needed to get those all-important points.

And The Real Winner Is…

October 24th, 2010

Contrary to popular belief, it is not impossible to win the coveted Index of Effluency trophy; prior to today, we’ve had two double-IOE winners. Today, we have our third: Team Police Brutality and its MR2-chassis-swapped Lancia Scorpion!

And The Winner Is…

October 24th, 2010

The last time a Neon took the checkered flag at a 24 Hours of LeMons race was way back in 2006. Today, the Skid Mark Dodge Neon held off the competition– including a menacing BMW E30– and brought home the 1,500 bucks in nickels.

When you cut-and-paste a Lancia Scorpion body onto a wrecked Toyota MR2 chassis, then show up to a race with the project only 60% done, you don’t expect the car to stay in one piece all weekend.

We of the LeMons Supreme Court like to make at least penalty that reflects the current season, so we brought pumpkins to the Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500.

The Saab 9-3 that started the day as the race leader has done blowed up, which gave the Skid Marks Neon drivers the opening they needed to grab the lead.

Yes, we’ve got a LeMons team that brought pole dancers to the race.

Day One Over, Saab 9-3 Leads

October 24th, 2010

An exhausting day of racing at the Autobahn Country Club is over, and the Cougar Bait 9-3 holds the lead.

Could it be possible that a LeMons car could win the Index of Effluency in one race, then go on to take the win on laps at a subsequent race?

I can’t keep my eyes open much longer, yet I must share some more of the incredible machinery that showed up to the Rod Blagojevich Never-Say-Die 500 2010 BS Inspection.

It was quite a day here in Joliet, Il.

This time, according to LeMons wild man Speedycop, things would be different. The Lancia Scorpion on Toyota MR2 chassis would be ready before it showed up at the race. Of course, we knew better.

I Am Not a Crook!

October 23rd, 2010

Anyone who knows me knows that I’m obsessed with Richard Nixon, so here’s a 24 Hours of LeMons team that made a good first impression on the LeMons Supreme Court.

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