This weekend, the 50th race in the 24 Hours of LeMons’ illustrious history will take place. I’ve been present at 41 of those races, which qualifies me for the coveted “41-Time Loser” patch. The second-ever Goin’ For Broken LeMons features an Opel Ascona, a twin-engined Corolla/MR2, and (allegedly) Jaguar XKE. We’ll believe the last one […]

It’s happened before: Spec Miata racers build a super-cheaty Miata for 24 Hours of LeMons race, using “free” parts that were “just lying around the shop.” Said racers, usually well-known by the locals, get a bunch of BS laps from the LeMons Supreme Court. At that point, rather than relaxing and enjoying a long weekend […]

When doing business in the Garden State, it may become necessary to eliminate troublesome rivals and bury the evidence. That’s just tradition, and the LeMons Supreme Court likes to bring local flavor to the Penalty Box when it travels to a new region.

It took me a few years and some arm-twisting of LeMons Assistant Perp Nick Pon, but I’ve finally got a photo gallery for every single 24 Hours of LeMons race. From the 2006 Altamont “no fire suits, no problem” race to last weekend’s North Dallas Hooptie, they’re all there.

Michigan is very proud of its famous killin’-n-grillin’ son, and rightfully so! Someday, Ted Nugent will be President of the United States, and LeMons HQ wants to be able to tell The Nuge that we were behind him all the way!  

You can get a Miata into the good graces of the 24 Hours of LeMons Supreme Court by welding a Volvo 245 body onto it and creating a Molvo. No problem! But let’s say you’ve got a 2006 Honda Civic— the newest entry in LeMons history— and you want to get through the BS inspection […]

I’m working LeMons races on three consecutive weekends. Here comes #2: The Campaign To Prevent Gingervitis, at Gingerman Raceway in Michigan.

The LeMons Supreme Court had so much fun with the Build An Engine Penalty in South Carolina and Texas that we used it again in California last weekend!  

Unununium Legend of LeMons honoree Spank probably needs no introduction, not after his crazed Citroën road trip and other exploits, so when you see a Simca 1204 at a California LeMons race… well, you know who’s probably responsible.  

24 Hours of LeMons drivers, particularly the West Coast variety, tend to be slow to accept blame for their spinouts, crashes, and other bad on-track behavior. The LeMons Supreme Court is here to rehabilitate LeMons miscreants, and so we’ve devised a new penalty that takes inspiration from famous conspiracy theorist Glenn Beck.   

BS Inspection shots, PillarCam™ shots, bashed-fender shots, Penalty Box shots, you name it! All will be found in the Sears Pointless ’11 Über Gallery!

When you’ve managed to take a LeMons win on laps with a car that sold for nearly 100 grand in the mid-1990s, you need to go the extra mile with your theme at the next race if you want to avoid massive BS laps. When Team Sgt. Schultz emailed LeMons HQ for a residual value […]

24 Hours of LeMons fanatics have been hoping for a vintage NASCAR-style entry for years, and Legend of LeMons Unununium Medal winner Speedycop and his henchmen came through at the Southern Discomfort race last month.  

Judge Mike had a hit with the 1990s Detroit Car Metric-SAE Fastener Mix-N-Match penalty, but that wasn’t his only contribution to LeMons Penalty Box innovation.  

When we made Mike, team captain of the legendary Tunachuckers 24 Hours of LeMons team, a LeMons Supreme Court Justice at the Southern Discomfort race, we had no idea that he’d be adding so many cruel rehabilitative penalties to the LeMons Supreme Court’s torture kit arsenal-o-fairness. Here’s one that you Sears Pointless miscreants will be […]